I feel little and insignificant and I hate tumblr for what it did to me and I hate that the pills don't make me better and I hate that I'm scared of going to parties because I'm scared I'll kill myself and I hate that I have tried to kill myself 8 times but nobody would ever fucking suspect and how you act and make me feel insignificant and worthless and I hate everyone at this school and this house and I hate them all but I don't want to hate them because they could be gone so easily and I need to appreciate them but I hate myself I hate it all so fucking much and I'm whining so much but I fucking hate it I really really fucking do.

I really want to make a list…because I find so many things soo fascinating and I can never remember all of them. But the problem with making a list is I have to right everything down on the spot or else I’ll forget.
Like today I was at a market and an old man was creasing his wife’s hand as she browsed through old books, or how I ate the most amazing egg and bacon roll and I couldn’t figure out what made it so fantastic; was it the eggs? the bacon?
And when I found this tiny cowboy hat that looked like it was mad for a worm…that made me think about how worms mate therefore leading me to discover that slugs are hermaphrodites and can chose whether or not they wish to mate AND that dolphins are the only animals that get pleasure out of sex apart from humans.
This is why I need to make a list and write down all these fantastic things because I know I witnessed and discovered so much more today but I just don’t remember.

Children screaming, blood covering there mothers face
Fire erupting from engine
A man thrown from his windshield onto the cold dark road
It’s just 3am and the road toll is already at two
Cause of the accident; a celebration with friends
To drunk to watch where he’s going
To tired to care
The consequence…his life
And the mother of two children.

Goodbye.

I don't want to say goodbye.
I just want to leave without a word and fade away into the shadows of your memories.

I don’t want to say goodbye.
Not to you, my friends or even my family.
I just want to runaway, hide.
Leave my thoughts of pain, abandonment and disappointment behind.

I don’t want to say goodbye.
Not now, not ever.

I don’t want to say goodbye, but I will.

Things that made my holidays;

♥Buying a sprakly pencil case and cute stationary from Typo
♥South Warf DFO
♥Slowly making my way through my book list
♥Getting my hair cut at long last
♥England being coverd in snow

♥Learning 'New York I love you, But your bringing me down' on guitar

♥Phillip Island
♥Working and being paid
♥Developing a tan (slowly)
♥CHRISTMAS!
♥Pool seshs
♥This Picture

♥Listening to The Temptations
♥Eating lots of Yohgurt
♥Buying cute school shoes
♥Movie marathons to the max
♥And eveything else :)

Black circles..

Black circles, around the things you don’t like.
Concealer over the scars you try to hide.
Hair covering the bruises on your forehead,
You may be able to hide from your family, friends, the world...
But you can’t hide from yourself.
So why try?

Really, What is the point?

I have never really understood, nor will I ever want too- the point of being alive.

People come across so much pain and hurt that it seems almost ridiculous to even consider bringing a child into this world.
What’s the point of trying so hard to reach our goals when we will never truly be satisfied?
People can live there whole life working, and making enough money to support themselves and anyone else, that they never really stop and actually live life.
Those who do get out; travel explore, experience have a great time doing it but when it’s over what do they do?
What do they do when all the fun and excitement has gone and all they have is work?
They do nothing.
They go back, and let their jobs and money take over there existence.
It all seems like a pointless thing really, life.
We’ll live, some of us lucky and will live a long life, some not.
So whats the point?